Fuck My Life ch.1

Just wow. An epic day full of fail. Woke up this morning thinking I was going to be early for math class. As senseless, stubborn, lazy, and stupidly distracted I am, I got extremely carried away with my internet. The internet, yes. The fucking necromantic devil. Class starts at 10am. I barely got ready by 9:15 and left the house at 9:35am. To myself? "Shit, I'm late again." Now you see, coming to his lectures are so so so important. Not only is he a good teacher but he teaches you valuable crap that makes you want to learn more about math. I've never felt that way about math till I took his class. Truly inspirational. Okay but to the point. My drive to school is a rather long one, say give or take 20-25mins (course there's all that bull shit variable involved like me speeding and traffic and what not). But with traffic it's like hell brought to earth (that's a whole different story). Expect a delay of up to 45mins or hour drive. SCREW THAT.

I thought I was going to be early. As I am coasting my way to school I suddenly hit the most BS traffic. Dude, seriously WTF. And to think I was going to be early granted the time constraint I was under. Just my fucking luck. Got to school at 9:58am and now I find myself looking for parking. So here's the thing, this teacher has a strict attendant policy. Because he's one of the few that actually respects those who are punctual and locks the door at 10am sharp so that way no one can bust a Kool-Aid entrance distracting the class in the process. And this is one of the many other reasons I took his class. I got to the door and it was shut locked. I was 3 minutes late. Had that incident not occurred, I would have been somewhat early, or 'on-time' respectively. Oh well, lesson learned. I'm leaving my house at 9:00 now. But still, I WOULD HAVE MADE IT!

Ran some errands and talked to the financial aid office about my check (money) situation. The money was suppose to be directly deposited into my bank account today, however, no money shown up. Had the F.Aid director come put and chatted with him and settled the confusion. He knew my financial situation as well as the situation at home and with my mom. I'm pretty persistent about how, when, and where my money's going, especially when it comes down to such a huge sum of cash. Long story short, I'm getting 1500.00 next week. SCORE.

And so today I fed myself to my heart's content during lunch. Bought 5lbs worth of lasagna, asked the server to give me all they had. HAHA. I was starving ok! Also, I think eating is one of my the best way to cope with all the stress and depression (not that I am depressed..or I hope not). I just love eating and my friends will tell you, I CAN EAT.

Today's schedule dictate another day with a 3 hour break till my next class: Chem. What did I do? Studied like a good boy. I think I'm starting to appreciate this whole studying concept, let alone doing hw while you're at it. It's a good feeling to know you're getting something done and you've accomplished a goal. And let me tell you what, I'm a total lag when it comes down to hw, reading, and studying. I can't naturally find that motivation to do it as much as I did when I was in middle school and high school (with the given exception to sophomore and senior year). Oh god, was I such one lazy mother fooker. That's a thing with me, I have the capacity, will, and knowledge to learn, do, and master a particular whatever it may be but I just lack that heart and motivation. And I know I've fucked up during those years when I did absolutely nothing and till this very day I still regret it. I think I need a girlfriend to keep me in check. IN CHECK.

A chem night class constitutes a very long night. Not only do you have your usual 2 hr lectures but you also have the BS pre-lab lecture which can eat up an additional 30mins to an hour of your time and then the lab in which also takes up about another 2 hour (or sometimes even longer depending on the Lab). You do the math. Wedsnesday are lab days so I held my breath till lab time. And oh my goodness was tonight's lab long or WHAT. Not only was the shit tedious but the calculation part of the lab took so much time. I kept running my answers through the professor but apparently my sig figs. were off...Yes, he checks for that shit and is very anal about it. So I just gave up; too damn exhausted to yield the accurate answers. Finally done, I walk back to the car with a huge sigh of relief...till then I saw some random dude pushing his car around the parking lot. SHIT.

I'm not cynical nor am I unsympathetic but for some damn reason, I didn't want to help him out hahah, oh so bad. But being the good samaritan I am, I offered him my lending hand. This dude with his 87 mr2 has a totally effed up starter. Tried jump starting and nothing. And finally came down to the point where we had to call my friend up, roll that damn car around the parking lot like idiots, hustle the campus police to play bumper cars with it, all to start the damn car but to no avail. Spent the entire night trying to help this fellow man out and nothing. I felt extremely bad but his car was fucked up anyways. He called in a tow truck and I wished him the best of luck. And so, I FINALLY LEFT.

Home, oh sweet home. There's honestly no other better feeling than coming home after a restless bull shit day. Propped on the computer, changed, and ate the last piece of left over lasagna. Later I find out someone IM'd me. Golly was I not the happiest man on earth hahah. No I kid but a friend who I haven't taken the initiative to talk to anymore said hi and asked if I was doing fine. Told her my situation and that was it. We don't have our 'talks' anymore I guess it's because she's been busy lately/ nowadays but I think either of us have lost all interest in one in another. I don't know anymore. Anyways, that's beside the point. Nothing special between us two. I don't think I'm going to find myself an s/o ('special one') till way later. Time will only tell. Though it is always a nice feeling to have that person giving you the attention you o so desired and crave. It's that constant need of attention and unrequited care that allows us to feel we're of actual worth and time. IF ONLY.


I'm home, happy, lethargic, full, mixed-feelings, relieved, and all of the above. Welcome to the 1/7th part of my multifaceted life.