Severly Ill and Valentineless

I never thought this day would come but it has suddenly struck me. There were those subtle hints and subliminal messages. I made no effort to take notice so I simply shrugged it off thinking to myself, nothing will happen. My ego got in the way and pride manifests itself. It's this flaw that eventually made its way up to my body. The fragility of life has finally met its demise and gradual destruction.

In other words, I got fucking sick. I mean this isn't any of my typical illness, however. It's far beyond what my expectations of it were. Having built a fairly robust and high-defensive immune system in the 3 past years, my body finally gave out. I mean throughout this winter I was maybe ill here and there. Majority of it were minor cold that were easily over in l day. I think the symptom started last week when I noticed heavy bronchial chest pains and constant coughs. Now, it's worse than before; I've become extremely-ill. Man, it's honestly the worst feeling ever. My body severely sore, constant coughing/weezing, the infamous sore throat, and typical headaches. And what's even worst is any slight temperature change my body overly reacts to it. Had a mid-term today for math class and it wasn't a pleasant scene. The ending, however, was hilarious. After handing our dreadful tests back, he puts on some reggae with the dude singing, "be happy, don't worry." Haha, he made my day. But yeah, feels like I'm dying.

Anyhow, I didn't feel too well so I skipped classes and went home. I have two midterms to be studying for but my body is not fully cooperating. I can't even think straight let alone write a coherent and logical sentence. No just kidding, otherwise I wouldn't manage posting this blog up. I hope I will get better soon by tomorrow (or today...tuesday). Reminder to self: wash hands frequently, drink LOTs of water, wear an ample amount of layer to keep warm, and take hot steamy baths with eagle brand medicated oil (yes I know, hella asian) to relieve any body aches. Oh yeah. Had a rather awkward and painful dream--nightmare if you will. It was very realistic and surreal. All I could see were black figures, most which I could not make out what it was. It was really weird. There were constant pressures and weight on my body. I was literally trying to fight it off in my dream. Every effort made were futile and I find myself later pinned by this dark force. My friend told me there is a saying in Korean about these dreams; they're also known as the demon dream. That scared the living shit out of me hahah. I woke up with my body sweating like crazy, ehh. I hope to get over this sickness soon.

As far as valentines, oh man haha. Recently, my buddies have asked me if I had one and if there were any plans that day. I gave them an immediate answer of a 'no.' I'm even a bit saddened by my own answer. Throughout the past valentines I have done absolutely nothing nor did I ask anyone out. I would really love to change that but I don't see it happening. Why? Simply because I have no interests in anyone anymore (well, sorta..ok maybe I lied haha) and I've come accept the whole time will tell mantra. Time does definitely tell you something: Tan doesn't have a special someone. Where the hell is she? I've pondered about that too. Makes me wonder what have I been doing this whole time. Not that I absolutely need her to be by my side but it's always nice to have that sort of 3Cs is what I call it, companionship, comfort, and company. I suppose we will let time dictate the future once again. They say that time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself. I wish all happy couples out there a happy valentines filled with happy magical moments and happy memories and all that happiness that comes along with it. That's hella happy status. =] And to those singles out there, you are where you're at not because you've placed yourself there but you let it happen. And admit it, being single is good; it's a nice sense of irresponsibility. Though do take the moment to thank your friends and family for what they have done for you. Valentines shouldn't be a day of full of mushy, superficial materialism. Rather it's a day that calls for appreciation and acknowledging that simple fact. Go out and show some love. Cheers.